| 00:12.12 | *** join/#gllug Leeds (n=richardc@n219078221168.netvigator.com) |
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| 06:40.47 | *** join/#gllug bilarh (n=henrik@128-177-27-125.ip.openhosting.com) |
| 06:40.49 | *** join/#gllug hali (n=hampus@emma.dnsdrift.net) [NETSPLIT VICTIM] |
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| 09:24.45 | Mohan | morning all |
| 09:25.39 | AndyMillar | fuck me, the ssh attempts are still going strong |
| 09:26.49 | Mohan | AndyMillar: someone is so determined to see it till the end. Have fun! |
| 09:27.28 | Blapto | AndyMillar: being brute forced? |
| 09:27.58 | AndyMillar | Blapto: idd :-) |
| 09:28.11 | Blapto | idd? |
| 09:28.15 | AndyMillar | indeed* |
| 09:28.20 | Blapto | OK |
| 09:28.30 | AndyMillar | heh, each IP is trying passwords for one username (3 times before it gets blocked) and then another connects with another username |
| 09:28.56 | Blapto | From a botnet, contiguous network, AS or what? |
| 09:28.58 | AndyMillar | botnet by the looks of it |
| 09:29.06 | Blapto | Hmm |
| 09:29.22 | AndyMillar | Oct 30 09:27:55 caffeine sshd[96589]: error: PAM: authentication error for illegal user adamich from 217.70.139.42 |
| 09:29.30 | AndyMillar | they're still on a |
| 09:29.35 | Blapto | I take it you've already got strong passwords in which case... Don't worry about it ;) |
| 09:29.54 | AndyMillar | 2 users have ssh access, passwords are strong :-) |
| 09:30.06 | AndyMillar | it's just getting annoying now :p |
| 09:30.15 | Blapto | Do you need ssh public? |
| 09:30.18 | Mohan | AndyMillar: Whats the threshold time for the ip, so it gets unblocked automatcially ? |
| 09:31.50 | Mohan | AndyMillar: if you want ssh for dynamic ips you can use dyndns hostnames and reload firewall rules 1 hr or so |
| 09:32.10 | Mohan | and block the ssh access for public. |
| 09:33.44 | Mohan | or the other way is to create a webpage where you can have a button which creates a tmp, and firewall reload script will check for the tmp and reload it. |
| 09:34.20 | Mohan | s/tmp/tmpfile/ |
| 09:35.07 | Mohan | I dont see any advantage in keeping ssh access public :) |
| 09:35.17 | Blapto | Yeah, or port knocking or something crazy like that. |
| 09:35.34 | bilarh | i like the tmpfile idea... might implement that on my own server |
| 09:35.38 | bilarh | well, i would if i was paranoid |
| 09:35.42 | Blapto | But then again, SSH is really quite secure as long as you have a good password policy or users who you can trust to look after their keys. |
| 09:37.00 | *** join/#gllug DiscordianUK (n=ch@78.144.158.11) |
| 09:37.52 | Mohan | we had a similar ftp issue, where one of the developers system is compromised and all the ftp accounts are stolen |
| 09:38.24 | Mohan | its a distributed botnet like attack file is downloaded from canada and the same file is uploaded from germany with a iframe inserted in the code. |
| 09:39.35 | Mohan | which indeed points to a site which has various exploits for diff vulnerablities and has link for downloading exe file from free ftp site. |
| 09:40.56 | DiscordianUK | People still use ftp in 2009? |
| 09:41.37 | Mohan | DiscordianUK: they do :) |
| 09:42.04 | DiscordianUK | You didn't ven |
| 09:42.10 | DiscordianUK | even :-( |
| 09:42.52 | Mohan | I'm tired as well, but OK. |
| 09:43.13 | Mohan | grr.. wrong channel. |
| 09:45.38 | antiphase | Is that what you said to your wife last night? |
| 09:57.51 | AndyMillar | Mohan: infinite - they never get unblocked |
| 09:58.09 | AndyMillar | I also use the shared denyhosts blocklists |
| 10:03.39 | Mohan | antiphase: fail - I'm not married yet. |
| 10:05.25 | AndyMillar | Blapto: yes, this is effectively my ssh jumphost |
| 10:05.32 | AndyMillar | all my other boxes limit ssh to only this ip |
| 10:07.44 | AndyMillar | thing is, i'm not worried about someone getting in... it's just worrying that they keep trying so hard |
| 10:08.26 | Blapto | Is it for a high profile client? |
| 10:10.15 | AndyMillar | no, it's *me* |
| 10:10.21 | AndyMillar | well, the server that runs my blog |
| 10:10.29 | Mohan | AndyMillar: allow only for limited ips for a while, probably they would stop it. |
| 10:11.22 | AndyMillar | Mohan: no idea what IP(s) i'll be on most of the time |
| 10:11.37 | ChoHag | I need a doughnut. |
| 10:12.32 | Mohan | AndyMillar: change to a random high port and deny all icmp replies. |
| 10:17.25 | AndyMillar | Mohan: can't guarantee I won't be behind a firewall blocking random high ports |
| 10:17.47 | AndyMillar | blocking all icmp replies violates some RFC and can break networking |
| 10:18.18 | AndyMillar | due to some fragmentation control stuff |
| 10:18.30 | AndyMillar | (ah, it's icmp unreachable you can't block) |
| 10:18.34 | wethrin | But..but...but....only HACKERS use ICMP!!!!1!!!1 |
| 10:18.49 | wethrin | (and they might even have degrees!) |
| 10:19.02 | AndyMillar | ! |
| 10:19.24 | AndyMillar | wethrin: I have a degree too! |
| 10:19.26 | Mohan | AndyMillar: Microsoft do block imcp replies |
| 10:19.33 | Blapto | haxors wethrin's degree |
| 10:19.43 | AndyMillar | Mohan: which ICMP replies? |
| 10:19.55 | wethrin | Blapto: It's okay. I have backups! |
| 10:21.07 | AndyMillar | hmm, backups... |
| 10:21.20 | AndyMillar | on that note, I shall hook some laptop hdds onto the back of a server |
| 10:22.57 | Mohan | icmp type echo request/reply |
| 10:38.54 | antiphase | LOsers |
| 10:46.02 | ChoHag | antiphase: Do you have doughnuts? |
| 10:47.10 | antiphase | Not as far as I'm aware |
| 10:48.45 | ChoHag | And Tesco's too far away... |
| 11:17.07 | AndyMillar | ChoHag: tesco delivery? |
| 11:21.04 | Blapto | Might go to Tescos and get a Battenberg today to go with my tea... |
| 11:23.56 | Blapto | http://www.cnn.com/2009/CRIME/10/29/iowa.marker.disguise/index.html |
| 11:48.08 | Mohan | http://pastebin.com/m72c574a6 |
| 11:48.32 | Mohan | sudoers error, I want to give access to everything except su |
| 11:49.57 | Mohan | the above entry isnt working, Is there any other way for it ? |
| 11:50.13 | Blapto | Why are you trying to restrict access to su? |
| 11:50.33 | bilarh | might be useful to keep logs |
| 11:50.59 | bilarh | however, you could just trim logs anyway if you could do everything else as root |
| 11:51.06 | bilarh | or even just vi :shell |
| 11:51.12 | bilarh | or |
| 11:51.17 | bilarh | sudo /bin/bash etc etc |
| 11:51.26 | Blapto | Yeah, was going to say sudo bash would give a user root |
| 11:51.41 | Blapto | Or writing an interactive shell script and then running it as root. |
| 11:52.39 | Mohan | Ofcourse there are many possiblities which we can't block. |
| 11:52.55 | Blapto | So why block any? |
| 11:53.09 | Blapto | You're better off having a defined list of what people can run rather than can't |
| 11:53.10 | Mohan | but i thought it would be block the basic level |
| 11:53.14 | bilarh | you're going about in the wrong way |
| 11:53.25 | bilarh | you should block everything and allow only what is necessary, rather than the other way around |
| 11:55.15 | *** join/#gllug Alex (i=alexjs@goatse.co.uk) |
| 11:56.00 | AndyMillar | sadly, i agree with bilarh |
| 11:56.13 | bilarh | sadly? :S |
| 11:56.17 | AndyMillar | :-p |
| 11:56.25 | bilarh | so devastated |
| 11:56.26 | AndyMillar | and i think i'm on a record day (again) for ssh attempts |
| 11:56.34 | AndyMillar | throws bilarh a beer |
| 11:56.37 | Mohan | hmm true, either way I will have to allow bash and vi. which would indeed give them root access |
| 11:56.49 | bilarh | mohan: why? |
| 11:56.55 | AndyMillar | why do you have to give them bash? |
| 11:56.59 | bilarh | mohan: what are you actually trying to achieve? |
| 11:57.11 | Mohan | but I wonder is there anyway of forcing them to run sudo command |
| 11:57.39 | antiphase | Use PAM to restrict use of su to a specified group, then they have no choice but to use sudo |
| 11:57.44 | Mohan | sudo command logs every action to /var/log/security file |
| 11:58.22 | Mohan | I want to give someone root access but, if he fucks up something he is responsible for it. |
| 11:58.35 | antiphase | You lose |
| 11:58.39 | Blapto | We syslog everything in bash |
| 11:58.40 | bilarh | well, root + logging everything is not possible |
| 11:58.51 | Blapto | But, people can still get around it |
| 11:58.51 | antiphase | They have to be responsible in the first place, otherwise they shouldn't be permitted it |
| 11:59.00 | Blapto | shell scripts, non-interactive sessions, that sort of thing. |
| 11:59.25 | Blapto | But then again, it ought be obvious who did something bad, even if it's not obvious what they did. |
| 11:59.31 | antiphase | A properly set-up system shouldn't allow uncontrolled privilege escalation |
| 12:00.00 | Mohan | how about creating a login shell script which takes $@ as parameters and run it with sudo $@ |
| 12:00.23 | bilarh | mohan: still does't get around vi etc opening up new shells, does it? |
| 12:00.26 | antiphase | looks at the sudoers entry and WTFs |
| 12:00.31 | antiphase | What are you doing? |
| 12:00.35 | bilarh | i'll quote antiphase and say "you lose" :) |
| 12:01.29 | Mohan | antiphase: thats an entry i found in google, but it didnt work obviously |
| 12:01.39 | antiphase | Run away from that as fast as you can |
| 12:01.48 | antiphase | What are you trying to do? |
| 12:02.18 | Mohan | I am trying to give sudo access to someone, but wanted to prevent them running su - |
| 12:02.30 | Mohan | so that they have to run sudo command for any operation |
| 12:02.36 | antiphase | What do they need to run? |
| 12:02.53 | bilarh | our operators need to do stuff as root, but we have scripts for everything lkike that |
| 12:03.01 | bilarh | and then they sudo <scriptname> |
| 12:03.03 | Blapto | you want them to be able to execute arbitrary commands as root, but you want it to be via sudo for the logging capabilities, you mean? |
| 12:03.09 | antiphase | It's not possible to do what you want, because there are so many glaringly obvious ways round running a specific command if you have effectively full sudo access |
| 12:03.14 | Blapto | bilarh: who owns the scripts? |
| 12:03.22 | bilarh | blapto: root |
| 12:03.26 | Mohan | I want sudo for logging thier actions and nothing else. |
| 12:04.00 | bilarh | mohan: why don't you give them su - access, but do as blapto's place and syslog bash then? |
| 12:04.17 | bilarh | at least that gives you rudimentary logging, which is possible to get around, but better than sudo like you have there, imo |
| 12:04.30 | Blapto | syslogging bash is nasty actually... |
| 12:04.38 | Blapto | But better than nothing |
| 12:04.53 | AndyMillar | Blapto: auditd? |
| 12:05.06 | Blapto | self written extensions |
| 12:05.21 | Mohan | sounds cool. will try that then. |
| 12:05.52 | AndyMillar | Blapto: what if someone runs sudo sh, sudo ksh, or any other shell |
| 12:06.02 | AndyMillar | or sh from inside bash? |
| 12:06.10 | Blapto | Well then nothing gets logged |
| 12:06.11 | Mohan | AndyMillar: disable those shells :) |
| 12:06.15 | antiphase | Or stops syslogd |
| 12:06.30 | AndyMillar | might have to turn off these denyhost emails |
| 12:06.30 | Blapto | It gets logged locally as well |
| 12:06.34 | AndyMillar | they're getting annoying |
| 12:06.34 | Blapto | Yeah, there's loads of ways around it. |
| 12:06.43 | Blapto | Once you've got root on a box there's ways around everything. |
| 12:06.54 | AndyMillar | Blapto: not always true |
| 12:06.54 | antiphase | If you don't trust your users enough that you have to watch them, you shouldn't permit them such lax access |
| 12:07.06 | Blapto | We don't give users root |
| 12:07.08 | AndyMillar | selinux enabled properly ;p |
| 12:07.09 | Blapto | It's for admins only |
| 12:07.18 | AndyMillar | (or setting your security level too high on freebsd :p) |
| 12:07.23 | Blapto | And it's for compliance purposes, not security purposes. |
| 12:07.30 | Blapto | AndyMillar: we've got ILOMs on all the boxes. |
| 12:07.34 | Mohan | This is a for an admin from a different company |
| 12:07.44 | Mohan | or else there is no need for it :) |
| 12:08.21 | Mohan | can someone provide me any links for how to configure it ? |
| 12:12.26 | antiphase | http://www.google.com/search?q=auditd |
| 12:12.33 | antiphase | There's loads of info on that page :P |
| 12:19.31 | AndyMillar | ;p |
| 12:19.54 | Mohan | antiphase: something is better than nothing, but your links is not helpful though. |
| 12:20.44 | antiphase | I'll take a week off work and come and work for you for 1000 quid a day if you need someone to do everything for you |
| 12:23.07 | AndyMillar | :-p |
| 12:23.21 | AndyMillar | Mohan: me too :-p |
| 12:24.59 | Mohan | pays only in cheques, if intrested you are welcome :) |
| 12:25.41 | AndyMillar | Mohan: in that case, payment must be cleared before work starts |
| 12:26.06 | Mohan | AndyMillar: Fail, no work no cheque. |
| 12:26.35 | AndyMillar | but cheques are so unreliable :'( |
| 12:28.11 | *** join/#gllug flips_and_rails (n=stu@cv-kraken.cv.ic.ac.uk) |
| 12:28.22 | AndyMillar | lo flips_and_rails |
| 12:28.49 | AndyMillar | wonders what cv.ic.ac.uk is |
| 12:28.58 | AndyMillar | ah, civil engineering |
| 12:29.25 | cpufreak | I want an english electric lightning. |
| 12:30.55 | AndyMillar | hmm, ic.ac.uk's awesome for stalking |
| 12:38.21 | PrinceOfDarkness | next pathetic thing in northern ireland, aside from number of churches, is bloody haloween. Begin allegedly of Irish, it is another way to show off in 'irish wars'. And is totaly blown out of proportions here. |
| 12:51.53 | *** join/#gllug nixofortune (n=egor@87.127.26.43) |
| 12:59.28 | *** join/#gllug dick_turpin (n=dick_tur@host217-34-163-30.in-addr.btopenworld.com) |
| 13:00.45 | antiphase | To be sure |
| 13:13.47 | dick_turpin | wethrin: Here we go: "Hello have you got any problems with emails your end? I can send and receive, Julie can send and receive, Dave can receive but cant send to me. He sent one to my personal private account and I got that but he cant send one to me here at the office?" |
| 13:14.14 | dick_turpin | "do you think he is typing in the wrong address or something?" |
| 13:14.27 | dick_turpin | Yes! You stupid cow |
| 13:20.49 | ChoHag | "Did you think to ask him before phoning and wasting your and my time?" |
| 13:34.07 | dick_turpin | But that presupposes they have a modicum of intelligence |
| 13:38.12 | AndyMillar | idd :p |
| 13:42.16 | Blapto | dick_turpin: "I can send e-mails, and receive e-mails, but never receive replies sent to my e-mail address." |
| 13:42.32 | Blapto | OK, e-mail me a screenshot of your Outlook setup. |
| 13:42.43 | Blapto | Yeah. You've misspelt your own name in the e-mail address field. |
| 13:43.26 | Blapto | Thank god I'm out of support now |
| 13:43.36 | *** join/#gllug celesteh (n=celesteh@sblug/member/celesteh) |
| 13:45.44 | AndyMillar | Blapto: you are never out of support ;p |
| 13:46.52 | dick_turpin | And then people have the cheek to call me a miserable git |
| 13:47.04 | Blapto | The only thing I support now is myself against a bar. |
| 13:47.36 | AndyMillar | dick_turpin: I *am* a miserable git |
| 13:47.46 | dick_turpin | Bwahaha |
| 13:47.53 | *** join/#gllug Leeds (n=richardc@n219078221168.netvigator.com) |
| 13:47.53 | AndyMillar | hmm, we need to do another gllug pub visit |
| 13:47.57 | AndyMillar | but this time, when I'm in London |
| 13:48.09 | Blapto | wethrin proposed a chimes visit soon. |
| 13:48.56 | AndyMillar | SW1V? that's a bit south ;) |
| 13:49.24 | dick_turpin | Hang on I thought antiphase held the title of the most miserable git? |
| 13:49.31 | Blapto | Bloody nice though! |
| 13:49.34 | AndyMillar | dick_turpin: i dunno, i'm pretty miserable too ;) |
| 13:49.41 | AndyMillar | Blapto: well, i'd be game |
| 13:49.50 | Blapto | Ace |
| 13:49.51 | dick_turpin | cpufreak: is a close second |
| 13:50.02 | Blapto | I'll badger WETHRIN to mail the social list |
| 13:50.13 | cpufreak | dick_turpin: what? |
| 13:50.14 | ChoHag | antiphase can't be called miserable. |
| 13:50.15 | Blapto | Seeing as I don't know when he's back down London way. |
| 13:50.18 | ChoHag | He's grinning. |
| 13:50.18 | AndyMillar | dick_turpin: i suspect i'm worse than both of them ;) |
| 13:50.19 | cpufreak | fuck off. |
| 13:50.21 | dick_turpin | Blapto: Will he spell the address correct? |
| 13:50.24 | cpufreak | ;( |
| 13:50.31 | Blapto | dick_turpin: I don't think he can spell. |
| 13:50.34 | Blapto | He's mainly into numbers. |
| 13:50.36 | dick_turpin | cpufreak: Rotflmao |
| 13:50.43 | AndyMillar | cpufreak: fancy dragging antiphase out for beer later? |
| 13:50.47 | cpufreak | tonight? |
| 13:50.51 | AndyMillar | it is payday ;p |
| 13:50.57 | cpufreak | yeh but i'm broke |
| 13:51.04 | antiphase | Pay day \o/ |
| 13:51.09 | AndyMillar | oh, and ChoHag ;p |
| 13:51.09 | cpufreak | pay day means nothing |
| 13:51.14 | cpufreak | I still have all my fucking bills to pay |
| 13:51.19 | AndyMillar | i'll waltz over to bf if you like |
| 13:51.21 | ChoHag | It's not payday for me. |
| 13:51.30 | AndyMillar | well, we'll have to get antiphase to pay ;) |
| 13:51.35 | cpufreak | good plan |
| 13:51.58 | ChoHag | It is, however, the time when I discover what problems are inherent in the Pimping Payment Process. |
| 13:52.04 | dick_turpin | Ooh I'm up for that will he pay my train fare down? |
| 13:52.21 | ChoHag | There are enough organisations involved that the chance of a cockup is about 140%. |
| 13:52.37 | AndyMillar | cpufreak: what time do you lot finish on fridays |
| 13:52.54 | dick_turpin | 5.00pm |
| 13:53.40 | dick_turpin | Get a whole whopping 30 minutes off for good behaviour |
| 13:54.25 | AndyMillar | 5? lucky bastards |
| 13:54.42 | Blapto | gets out at 4. |
| 13:54.43 | antiphase | 1800 here, but the beer starts at 1700 on Friday |
| 13:54.51 | Blapto | But I was in at 8 so swings and roundaboots. |
| 13:55.39 | dick_turpin | Blapto: 4pm? you shagging the boss or something |
| 13:55.53 | Blapto | I occasionally get tempted to rub his stubbly head. |
| 13:56.03 | cpufreak | AndyMillar: 6 |
| 13:56.13 | Blapto | We do 8 hours from whenever we get in, basically. I was in at 8 this morning. |
| 13:56.21 | cpufreak | there's not many people t'office tho today |
| 13:56.28 | ChoHag | If I do any more than 8 hours, I don't get paid for it. |
| 13:56.28 | cpufreak | Blapto: slack jawed hippy |
| 13:56.40 | AndyMillar | well, I'll jump on t'bus from here to hammersmith at 6 then :) |
| 13:56.43 | ChoHag | And I don't see the point in spending a whole hour eating lunch. |
| 13:56.46 | Blapto | cpufreak: I'll accept slack. |
| 13:56.50 | cpufreak | neithr does anyone else ChoHag.. |
| 13:56.54 | cpufreak | what's your point exactly? |
| 13:56.59 | ChoHag | Even I can't eat that much food. |
| 13:57.10 | AndyMillar | an hour eating lunch? I take 10 mins getting it and eat whilst I work :( |
| 13:57.16 | Blapto | I do tend to do much more than a 40 hour week though |
| 13:57.37 | antiphase | Can I touch you? |
| 13:57.48 | Blapto | Who? Where? |
| 13:58.06 | ChoHag | I think I'd like to move desks now. |
| 13:58.06 | dick_turpin | lol |
| 13:58.59 | AndyMillar | :p |
| 13:59.04 | AndyMillar | cpufreak: 07815 088 373 |
| 13:59.09 | AndyMillar | might be handy for you to know |
| 13:59.33 | dick_turpin | Ooh nice let me just punch that into my auto dialer |
| 13:59.54 | cpufreak | there's a definite lack of andys about today |
| 14:00.29 | cpufreak | I missed a trick with my new hire tho (contractor), had an andy interview, it was quite tempting to hire them based on that |
| 14:00.30 | AndyMillar | i dunno, I can see quite a few |
| 14:00.33 | cpufreak | but they weren't good enough |
| 14:00.42 | cpufreak | got a craig instead |
| 14:00.52 | AndyMillar | cpufreak: i'm rather tempted to send that to atp :-p |
| 14:01.12 | AndyMillar | jokingly, we're not allowed to hire any more |
| 14:01.15 | ChoHag | What's with andies? |
| 14:01.25 | ChoHag | tries to avoid handy puns |
| 14:01.33 | cpufreak | its pretty useful |
| 14:01.38 | cpufreak | I had a meeting the other day with 3 other andys |
| 14:01.44 | AndyMillar | ChoHag: TF IS has 3 andies out of a systems team of 6 :p |
| 14:01.47 | cpufreak | and another meeting, where it was two andys and two daves. |
| 14:02.10 | AndyMillar | cpufreak: i've done a meeting of 4 andys before, it gets confusing |
| 14:02.14 | antiphase | You're my wife now |
| 14:02.19 | cpufreak | actually I have two |
| 14:02.29 | cpufreak | two andy H and two andy ms |
| 14:02.51 | antiphase | You need to stick Rizlas on your forehead with your name on |
| 14:02.52 | AndyMillar | thinks |
| 14:03.00 | cpufreak | and all the capgemini people get confused by me, as their CTO is andy mulholland :) |
| 14:03.10 | antiphase | Crap Gemini |
| 14:03.20 | AndyMillar | Andy P, P, M, H, S |
| 14:03.26 | AndyMillar | oh, and we have 2 Millars as well :-) |
| 14:03.31 | Blapto | We have 3 Richards in Systems Engineering here. |
| 14:03.38 | Blapto | We're thinking of forming a richsys group. |
| 14:03.38 | ChoHag | That must have its benefits. Gets them whipped into working before they realise their mistake. |
| 14:06.06 | dick_turpin | We have two Steve's I love it when you say "Which one", as I'm a Bar-Steward I make the caller squirm while the fathom out which one they want |
| 14:06.47 | AndyMillar | I miss the days of 3 andys sat next to each other |
| 14:07.49 | cpufreak | in general you can tell a lot about someone from their name |
| 14:07.58 | cpufreak | and Andys therefore a generally alright |
| 14:08.08 | AndyMillar | I like your thinking |
| 14:08.18 | AndyMillar | and this strengthens your argument ;) |
| 14:08.23 | cpufreak | heh |
| 14:08.39 | cpufreak | almost without exception I find Robs obnoxious |
| 14:08.41 | AndyMillar | as thinking like that clearly means you're likely to be a decent person |
| 14:10.27 | AndyMillar | hmm, I can't actually disagree with that :/ |
| 14:10.29 | AndyMillar | .names |
| 14:10.36 | cpufreak | none in this channel |
| 14:10.37 | cpufreak | I checked |
| 14:11.01 | cpufreak | also Henriks tend to be scandanavian |
| 14:11.19 | cpufreak | which further strengthens my argument that you can tell a lot about a person from their name :) |
| 14:11.22 | antiphase | Anyone called Rob is a Knob |
| 14:11.38 | AndyMillar | wonders if he can use that trick in other channels to get cpufreak to analyse the nicklist and answer what I'm thinking for me |
| 14:12.52 | cpufreak | you mean one where a rob joined 5 minutes ago? |
| 14:13.26 | AndyMillar | hmm, not actually what I was thinking |
| 14:13.42 | dick_turpin | antiphase: You're mental, honestly, your like 'out there' anyone called Rob is a knob dick_turpin tries not to laugh as it only encourages him |
| 14:15.36 | ChoHag | What's IS all hands? |
| 14:19.01 | cpufreak | where the whole of IS join together, hold hands, and pray |
| 14:19.10 | cpufreak | and thank the lord for our uptime |
| 14:19.25 | ChoHag | I see. |
| 14:19.29 | AndyMillar | lol |
| 14:19.36 | ChoHag | Is He the sysadmin? |
| 14:24.31 | dick_turpin | We have a customer who is a religious organisation like the Billy Graham type of thing, when I went to see them a little while ago they said a prayer for me, it didn't work I'm still poor with the arse out me trousers |
| 14:26.01 | antiphase | You seem to have taken religion for something which isn't complete brainwashing bollocks |
| 14:26.04 | boudiccas | builders bum! |
| 14:27.13 | antiphase | substitutes a pork chop for dick_turpin's trousers in the swimming pool changing rooms |
| 14:30.10 | dick_turpin | antiphase: Hey its good business "Hello I've just come home and found my husband in bed with a Shetland pony" We have a prayer for that do you have your credit card handy? That'll be £95 please |
| 14:32.15 | ChoHag | There's a prayer for that? |
| 14:32.19 | ChoHag | Does it happen that often? |
| 14:34.37 | dick_turpin | They have a prayer for anything |
| 14:36.12 | dick_turpin | They charge you £50 a year to have the minister send you a Happy Birthday text message which in fact is just an automated message with your name bolted on |
| 14:36.51 | AndyMillar | sounds like a good business model |
| 14:37.00 | dick_turpin | So you pay to have a Birthday message sent to you! Brilliant! |
| 14:37.14 | AndyMillar | dick_turpin: you pay another 50 for a merry christmas |
| 14:37.33 | *** join/#gllug DiscordianUK (n=ch@92.28.38.215) |
| 14:37.34 | AndyMillar | hmm, i really need to fix my character encoding |
| 14:38.51 | dick_turpin | I think its more, not sure I only know some of the stuff they do, they do DVD, CD replication as well the DVD's go for like £250 each! |
| 14:40.45 | dick_turpin | I had one of their CD's I think antiphase should listen to it "Your wages have increased by 20% yet you contribution to god has stayed the same" I'e stick more money in the collection plate you skin flint |
| 14:41.03 | dick_turpin | you're contribution |
| 14:41.56 | ChoHag | your |
| 14:42.44 | dick_turpin | Yeah that one Oops |
| 15:01.15 | AndyMillar | is very much in need of beer now |
| 15:09.23 | dick_turpin | has chocolate Mars Dark omnomnomnom |
| 15:10.07 | Blapto | dick_turpin: that's an odd beer. |
| 15:10.30 | dick_turpin | Blapto: I don't drink :-) |
| 15:10.45 | Blapto | Perhaps you should |
| 15:11.00 | dick_turpin | God said I shouldn't |
| 15:11.08 | boudiccas | dick_turpin, how do you stay alive then if you dont drink? |
| 15:11.22 | Blapto | find a new god |
| 15:11.43 | dick_turpin | boudiccas: Intravenous |
| 15:12.10 | boudiccas | dick_turpin, IVF or IVI? |
| 15:12.41 | dick_turpin | boudiccas: IVF I know what the other one is you naughty girl |
| 15:12.47 | boudiccas | :) |
| 15:13.41 | dick_turpin | boudiccas: You need some fluffy handcuffs and to be placed.... Oh crap I'm still married |
| 15:14.02 | boudiccas | placed where? in your dungeon?? |
| 15:14.38 | bilarh | doesn't know what ivi is |
| 15:15.03 | boudiccas | bilarh, intravenous infusion |
| 15:15.25 | bilarh | infusion? :S |
| 15:15.36 | bilarh | i have ivc |
| 15:15.40 | bilarh | intravenous confusion |
| 15:16.01 | boudiccas | its a method of introducing liquids, normally saline, staright into the blood stream |
| 15:16.25 | bilarh | so why would that be naughty then? |
| 15:16.33 | bilarh | totally doesn't get it |
| 15:16.47 | boudiccas | don't worry, its just an 'in' joke |
| 15:16.59 | Blapto | an in travenous joke? |
| 15:17.02 | boudiccas | i come from a hospital background as does dick_turpin |
| 15:17.14 | bilarh | see, now you've made me paranoid as well because i'm not one of the gang |
| 15:17.26 | bilarh | looks up solicitors willing to sue boudiccas and dick_turpin |
| 15:17.59 | bilarh | hmm, dick_turpins experience was as an in patient at a psychiatric ward, though... does that count? |
| 15:18.19 | boudiccas | no, he was a hospital porter at one time |
| 15:19.12 | dick_turpin | Er excuse me my title was Deputy assistant portering services manager :-P |
| 15:19.24 | boudiccas | dapsm |
| 15:19.33 | boudiccas | 3 i/c |
| 15:20.03 | boudiccas | dick_turpin, you ought to try 'rooster' snuff, its really good |
| 15:23.38 | wethrin | Blapto: I didn't say soon - I said around Christmas-time |
| 15:23.53 | Blapto | that's soon |
| 15:23.58 | Blapto | If you aren't a lazy student |
| 15:24.19 | dick_turpin | is having real problems shoving a Road Island Red up his left nostril |
| 15:27.51 | dick_turpin | wethrin: You missed today's story |
| 15:28.12 | wethrin | Oh |
| 15:28.15 | wethrin | I could scroll back |
| 15:28.19 | wethrin | Or I could ask you to re-tell it. |
| 15:28.21 | dick_turpin | (13:16:47) |
| 15:28.24 | wethrin | decides the latter is easier |
| 15:28.54 | boudiccas | dick_turpin, can i watch you stuffing the chicken up your nose? it should be interetsing to watch , especially if the chicken is still live |
| 15:29.10 | wethrin | Hmm |
| 15:29.12 | wethrin | People-- |
| 15:29.59 | z00dax | amazon's aws-- |
| 15:30.12 | dick_turpin | boudiccas: He's scratching the buggery bollocks out of my top lip but we've nearly got a successful outcome |
| 15:30.46 | Blapto | dick_turpin: successful for who? |
| 15:31.20 | dick_turpin | Both of us, the Rooster has a new home and I've had a new experiance |
| 15:32.04 | dick_turpin | bilarh: Stop sulking blubber butt |
| 15:32.24 | bilarh | adds comments to his notebook of insults |
| 15:32.34 | dick_turpin | bilarh: rotflmao |
| 15:32.38 | wethrin | bilarh: Come to Chimes around Christmas-time! |
| 15:33.23 | bilarh | wethrin: in uxbridge? |
| 15:33.32 | dick_turpin | bilarh: You like that Raymond out of the film Rain Man with your 'insults' book? |
| 15:34.06 | wethrin | bilarh: No. |
| 15:34.10 | wethrin | Further south. |
| 15:34.17 | wethrin | Between Victoria and Pimlico |
| 15:34.30 | bilarh | wethrin: wot is it? |
| 15:34.43 | dick_turpin | You need a paasport for Pimlico |
| 15:34.55 | dick_turpin | passport even |
| 15:36.28 | bilarh | dick_turpin: can't stay and chat, darling, gotta go see jeopardy |
| 15:36.44 | wethrin | bilarh: tasty restaurant/bar that has lots of mead, and ciders |
| 15:36.47 | wethrin | And PIES |
| 15:36.56 | bilarh | mmm, i like pies |
| 15:37.01 | bilarh | minge pies are the best :D |
| 15:37.03 | wethrin | Pies are good |
| 15:37.05 | wethrin | heh |
| 15:37.10 | dick_turpin | Who ate all the pies? bilarh! |
| 15:37.40 | bilarh | offers a minge pie to dick_turpin |
| 15:37.47 | bilarh | dick_turpin: does it smell funny to you? |
| 15:38.02 | dick_turpin | Yes like your fingers |
| 15:38.07 | bilarh | hehe |
| 15:38.26 | bilarh | wethrin: when are you going? |
| 15:38.33 | bilarh | wethrin: and is it like an official geek-fest? |
| 15:39.59 | wethrin | Around Christmas-time. I'm back near London from the 20th December |
| 15:40.52 | bilarh | ah |
| 15:42.24 | wethrin | Well, I'm back a bit earlier, but busy |
| 15:42.29 | Blapto | promises not to get drunk and attempt to secure a girlfriend again. |
| 15:42.40 | Blapto | sorry wethrin! |
| 15:42.51 | wethrin | Hehe |
| 15:43.00 | wethrin | It's okay. It worked for you :) |
| 15:43.03 | wethrin | (didn't it?) |
| 15:43.04 | Blapto | Err |
| 15:43.07 | Blapto | Temporarily |
| 15:43.09 | wethrin | oh |
| 15:43.11 | Blapto | We were together for 18 months. |
| 15:43.15 | wethrin | That's not bad |
| 15:43.17 | Blapto | We moved in together about 6 months ago. |
| 15:43.36 | Blapto | Kicked her out about a month back |
| 15:43.38 | wethrin | oh. |
| 15:43.44 | wethrin | Crap. |
| 15:43.46 | Leeds | oopsie |
| 15:44.00 | Blapto | She cheated on me once or twice. |
| 15:44.03 | Blapto | Or seven times. |
| 15:44.05 | wethrin | ouch |
| 15:44.07 | Blapto | I think it was seven. |
| 15:44.08 | wethrin | that's not good |
| 15:44.17 | Blapto | No, but oh well. |
| 15:44.40 | Leeds | rather not good |
| 15:44.59 | Blapto | But silver lining and all that |
| 15:45.04 | *** join/#gllug Leeds (n=richardc@n219078221168.netvigator.com) |
| 15:45.54 | Blapto | Had a date last night |
| 15:45.57 | Blapto | Got a date next week. |
| 15:46.07 | Leeds | dates are good |
| 15:46.17 | Blapto | Been spending quite a bit of time with the girl who was Sarah's best friend. |
| 15:46.27 | bilarh | sarah being your ex? :D |
| 15:46.30 | Blapto | Until Sarah cheated on me with her best friend's boyfriend. |
| 15:46.34 | Blapto | Sarah being my ex. |
| 15:46.49 | bilarh | gotta lol at the evilness :D |
| 15:46.56 | Blapto | Best friend is even kinkier, so that's alright. |
| 15:46.58 | antiphase | You must be crap in bed |
| 15:47.26 | Blapto | antiphase: It's a possibility I can't ignore. As such, I've been seeking as much feedback as possible the last couple of weeks. |
| 15:47.39 | antiphase | Ha ha |
| 15:47.53 | antiphase | They might think you're unhingedif you start with the questionnaires |
| 15:48.14 | Blapto | Though more seriously, the ex had huge attention issues. Apparently I was just the only one who didn't realise. |
| 15:48.25 | antiphase | ISHYOOS? |
| 15:48.31 | Blapto | Bless yuo. |
| 15:48.38 | ChoHag | Are there women who don't have attention issues? |
| 15:48.44 | Blapto | ChoHag: apparently. |
| 15:48.58 | bilarh | antiphase: are you complainign about a nerve in your back, or is that a new acronym? |
| 15:49.14 | Blapto | At least there are probably ones who don't cling to guys to get them to buy them a drink, then move onto another one when the first realises he isn't getting anything. |
| 15:49.23 | AndyMillar | well, I didn't need that bit of excitment this afternoon :p |
| 15:49.39 | antiphase | It's a wry observation about the fact that people misuse the word "issues", prnounouced "ISHYOOS" to mean problems |
| 15:49.53 | bilarh | antiphase: aah |
| 15:49.55 | antiphase | You can't have an attention issue |
| 15:49.56 | Blapto | Well, it's not really a problem, for her at least. |
| 15:50.06 | antiphase | An issue is the result of something else |
| 15:50.14 | antiphase | It issues forth |
| 15:50.20 | Blapto | This is true. |
| 15:50.26 | Blapto | Or a question. |
| 15:50.29 | ChoHag | Isn't forth dead yet? |
| 15:51.00 | Blapto | But anyway, all over. And none of it really my fault, except the part where I didn't chuck her as soon as I realised she was lying to me about something. |
| 15:51.29 | wethrin | ChoHag: No. |
| 15:51.58 | dick_turpin | Like she's gonna say "I'm sleeping with this other guy cos he's got a bigger cock" |
| 15:52.24 | Blapto | Well, no, but I do happen to know exactly why she was. |
| 15:52.46 | dick_turpin | You was rubbish at it? |
| 15:53.05 | Blapto | Apparently not. |
| 15:53.26 | dick_turpin | Apparently so |
| 15:53.39 | Blapto | Sorry, forgot you're the expert here. |
| 15:53.40 | antiphase | LEts look at the evidence </Loyd Grossman> |
| 15:53.50 | ChoHag | You should do what I did - get married first then there's nothing they can do about it. |
| 15:53.56 | antiphase | Who would throw a sausage in a dustbin like this? |
| 15:54.44 | antiphase | ChoHag: She could be getting busy with the bin man right now, and you wouldn't know ;) |
| 15:55.08 | ChoHag | No they only come on Tuesdays. |
| 15:55.10 | dick_turpin | Um I did get caught by my first wife shagging someone else, does that make me an expert? |
| 15:55.20 | Blapto | No, it makes you an idiot. |
| 15:55.51 | ChoHag | If your wife's shagging someone else, surely it means you're fucked? |
| 15:56.17 | boudiccas | no, it menas that you've been cuckolded |
| 15:56.22 | boudiccas | *means |
| 15:58.12 | dick_turpin | Blapto: No it means I was shagging two at once :-D So anyway why was she humping the guts out of someone else? |
| 15:58.40 | Blapto | Because she was attractive, had drinks bought for her and never knew when to stop. |
| 15:58.58 | ChoHag | Everyone knows when to stop. |
| 15:58.59 | ChoHag | Sometimes they choose not to. |
| 15:59.05 | Blapto | you'd think so. |
| 15:59.33 | Blapto | I've seen her get so drunk she's tried to have sex with me and know nothing about it the next morning. |
| 16:00.02 | dick_turpin | She had to get drunk to have sex with you? |
| 16:00.12 | Blapto | No, she just had to have a pulse. |
| 16:00.58 | dick_turpin | So if she has a drink she turns into a raving nymph then? Can me and bilarh meet her? |
| 16:01.08 | Blapto | Probably |
| 16:01.28 | bilarh | books a hotel room with rubber sheets and a water hose to wash things down with afterwards |
| 16:01.37 | bilarh | dick_turpin: do we need a bedpan as well this time? |
| 16:01.44 | Blapto | good luck, I'm off home |
| 16:02.08 | dick_turpin | Blapto: Got any photo's |
| 16:02.13 | dick_turpin | Bum! |
| 16:02.34 | boudiccas | why do you want photos of someone's bum dick_turpin ??? |
| 16:02.39 | ChoHag | bilarh: They pay people for that. |
| 16:02.52 | dick_turpin | If you're gonna bare your soul on IRC you're fair game in my book |
| 16:02.53 | bilarh | boudiccas: depends on who's bum, surely, but why not? :) |
| 16:03.24 | bilarh | chohag: my meagre salary does't stretch to high class establishments |
| 16:04.27 | ChoHag | Pay in cash. Disappear before they inspect the room. |
| 16:04.41 | dick_turpin | boudiccas: You know full well what I was gonna say if he had said "No" |
| 16:04.47 | bilarh | a hose is useful between sessions, though |
| 16:05.17 | dick_turpin | bilarh: Not much point if we have one of them 'rain' sessions |
| 16:05.50 | bilarh | good point |
| 16:06.01 | bilarh | btw, is that why you always smell of stale pee? |
| 16:06.07 | boudiccas | one winter night, many years ago now, i was doing a night shift on a stroke ward. it was new years eve and we were listening the the party in trafalgar square on the radio when a buzzer went. we went to see what the patient wanted and he was very apologetic but he'd poohed the bed. so just as we were washing his backside he said "stop a minute, I've got something to tell you!" |
| 16:07.21 | ChoHag | Does pooed have an h? |
| 16:07.23 | ChoHag | Sounds like a bear. |
| 16:07.33 | boudiccas | so we turned him over and just as the bells rang out in london he said "Happy New Year!" with a big grin on his face. He got a playful swat on the backside and we carried on sorting him out. |
| 16:08.00 | bilarh | hehe |
| 16:08.20 | ChoHag | I advise against the phrase 'sorting him out' in that context. |
| 16:08.55 | boudiccas | On the way home the next morning i picked up a paper from my local newsagents and was very amused to read my horoscope in it, which stated that i would be continuing to party logn after the rest had gone to bed! I reckon that was right for the day :) |
| 16:13.46 | *** join/#gllug sabinef72 (n=sabinef7@ns.popipo.fr) |
| 16:20.35 | *** join/#gllug sabinef72 (n=sabinef7@ns.popipo.fr) |
| 16:31.34 | dick_turpin | Bored where's Blapto's girlfriend? |
| 16:33.47 | antiphase | In a rugby team changing room somewhere getting 6 feet of beef |
| 16:36.19 | dick_turpin | antiphase: lol |
| 16:38.45 | dick_turpin | Its so nice to be in a caring sensitive channel that is fully appreciative of the pain felt by members when face with distressing elements of a relationship breakup |
| 16:38.56 | dick_turpin | faced |
| 16:43.27 | *** part/#gllug dick_turpin (n=dick_tur@host217-34-163-30.in-addr.btopenworld.com) |
| 17:05.28 | AndyMillar | cpufreak / antiphase / ChoHag: pick pub, let me know location and i'll be there at 6:30ish :-) |
| 17:07.35 | ChoHag | I'm not pubbing tonight. |
| 17:07.39 | ChoHag | Stuff to do at home. |
| 17:08.02 | ChoHag | Plus, no money yet. |
| 17:20.09 | cpufreak | distillers |
| 17:20.14 | cpufreak | on fulham palace road |
| 17:23.27 | AndyMillar | kk |
| 17:23.56 | cpufreak | you heading off now? |
| 17:24.03 | AndyMillar | leaving in 30 :) |
| 17:24.18 | AndyMillar | just working out wtf i've got to go to :) |
| 17:29.02 | AndyMillar | yeah, 27 mins on t'bus to hammersmith :-) |
| 17:36.44 | cpufreak | kk |
| 17:44.08 | *** join/#gllug nixofortune (n=egor@87.127.26.43) |
| 17:59.40 | AndyMillar | cpufreak: right, be there in ~30, I'll be the muppet in the lightish suit :p |
| 17:59.45 | AndyMillar | probably looking lost |
| 17:59.58 | AndyMillar | (atp says hi) |
| 18:09.58 | cpufreak | ok cool |
| 18:09.59 | cpufreak | suits? |
| 18:10.00 | cpufreak | wtf |
| 18:10.19 | AndyMillar | odd tradition :p |
| 18:10.25 | antiphase | likes big butts, and he cannot lie |
| 18:10.42 | AndyMillar | hates waiting for busses :) |
| 18:10.59 | antiphase | Buses :P |
| 18:11.09 | AndyMillar | sush :p |
| 18:11.27 | AndyMillar | the female developer started it, and i wasn't one to object |
| 18:12.00 | cpufreak | I thought you were married |
| 18:12.08 | cpufreak | haven't you left yet? |
| 18:12.16 | AndyMillar | yes, at the bus top |
| 18:12.38 | AndyMillar | and nope, not married |
| 18:12.55 | antiphase | AndyM bum chain |
| 18:13.12 | AndyMillar | antiphasek which andym :p |
| 18:13.20 | *** join/#gllug [Discordian] (n=ch@92.28.69.41) |
| 18:13.25 | antiphase | It wouldn't be a chain without more than one |
| 18:13.39 | AndyMillar | ah :@ |
| 18:13.44 | AndyMillar | :p* |
| 18:16.14 | AndyMillar | has bus |
| 18:16.40 | *** join/#gllug nixofortune (n=egor@87.127.26.43) |
| 18:17.41 | AndyMillar | grr, annoying child on bus |
| 18:19.14 | antiphase | You shouldn't be rude about the driver |
| 18:19.57 | AndyMillar | heh |
| 18:20.34 | AndyMillar | wonders how tfl thinks this takes 27 mins... you could probably walk it in that time |
| 18:26.21 | AndyMillar | ah, traffc... |
| 18:31.36 | cpufreak | I should leave the office and head for the pub. |
| 18:32.07 | AndyMillar | possibly, i'm about 30 seconds from hammersmith :) |
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